I want to be Carrie Bradshaw - to be cute, petite, with an outrageous, bottomless closet full of designer goodies that make me drool just thinking about them. And the shoes! Oh, to have a shoe budget of hundreds upon hundreds a month!! Instead, I'm too much like Bridget Jones, and sometimes I wonder if I married Daniel Cleaver instead of Mark Darcy, not that either one was all that bad (Colin Firth! RAWR!). I'm simply trapped in a body covered in post-partum wobbly bits. Lets face it, it needed work before the baby, it's just that "I had a baby!" sounds a lot better than "I'm hypothyroid and hypoglycemic and insulin resistant, with an inability to lose weight and unable to tame my depression with anything other than chocolate ice cream and cocktails, but only the latter to prove to people I'm not pregnant so they'll shut up and stop gossiping about if I am!"
To add insult to injury, I have boring hair (so much for my teen years and all those summers at the pool where it would bleach out white-blond and look beyond gorgeous with my lifeguard tan for the first day of school), post-baby acne, and a drab wardrobe. Even if I did have cuter clothes that fit, they'd just get spit up upon. Somehow, she never spits up on me when I'm in grubbies. Murphy's law I suppose. I must do something about this, but part of me doesn't care. Who am I dressing up for? I work with mostly middle aged men, so it's not like I'm dressing to fit in with the other cute girls at the office. My husband doesn't seem to mind all that much what I wear, since he gets me when I'm nekkid and that's all he really wants anyway. I guess I want to look better for me, but I can't seem to summon the strength and energy to do anything about it. It's been too hot to take our daily walks in the evening so exercise has been non-existant of late. Perhaps I just need to suck it up and go. The extra sweating will be good for me, right? Like taking one of those crazy yoga classes where they jack up the thermostat. Ugh. Those people who said breastfeeding helps you lose the weight are full of it.
Will be going to the groccery tomorrow. Will be v. good about getting nutritious things to eat, in an effort to start fresh in my quest to become a MILF.