31 August 2006
30 August 2006
*I'd have to see a better family tree, but I think my great-great-grandmother was cousins with one of her great-great-grandparents.
29 August 2006
Note: One sock is on, the other is at the other end of the crib, where she started out about 150 degrees from her current position. If I had a before picture, you'd also see that the assortment of stuffed friends were neatly lined up together. And if I did this everytime I went to sleep, my husband would shoot me.
Not that I had any doubts about her health, she's a happy kid and everything seems fine. It's just REALLY nice to hear she's A-OK from someone who knows. Like getting a report card for your parenting. So happy I'm passing. She's much easier than chemistry or AP calculus...
28 August 2006
26 August 2006
24 August 2006
So I guess there is a moral to our summer time drama: Sometimes God needs things to be just so for His will to take effect, and while waiting for His perfect timing, you sometimes have to put up with a lot of shit in the meantime. I'm hoping that's what the moral of our story is, because if the bottom falls out again, I don't know what I'll do. Probably just drown my sorrows in more chocolate ice cream, but we all know that that's not getting me anywhere.
23 August 2006
Today, driving home with my chicken fajitas next to me, I realized I'm afraid of dieting and having it not work. I've had enough situations in the last 2 years where my body has failed me (we can start with the uncooperative cervix at Natalie's coming out party and work backwards to the thyroid gland that started going wacko a year before she was conceived). I'm so afraid that if I give this diet my all, and it doesn't work, I'll be worse off than when I started. Yeah, I may be down a few pounds, but it may have taken me a year to do it and psychologically, I just can't comprehend how crushed I will be.
In the meantime, I hate my body. So does half of the women in Amercia. I'm fairly confident regardless of my current size in a good pair of jeans, a shirt that hides any bulges, and some kick ass shoes. But shopping to find something to wear to Natalie's dedication in less than 3 weeks? Depressing. There is nothing out there that doesn't make me look like a sutffed sausage in pretty packaging. That's what drove me to the fajitas.
I'm afraid to fly and will cry upon take-off without even trying. I remember being in the hospital, recovering from my c-section and thinking "Holy shit - we're going to have to fly to Texas for Christmas in 10 months with a BABY? How the hell am I supposed to be knocked up on benadryl and vodka and take care of an infant?" Bugs gross me out to no end now, and I'm so so so thankful I have a husband I can make do all the icky work for me. I won't go into the ocean or a lake any deeper than a point at which I can no longer see my feet, for fear of all things slimy and wet and shark related. I can work myself up into a tizzy just going to the doctor for the fear that something terrible is wrong. Last night I dreamt that some friends were making my go skydiving. I woke up when we were all up in the air in the plane before anyone could push me out. And I couldn't go back to sleep. I'm afraid of change, I'm afraid of judgement, I'm afraid of what's to come. It's paralyzing, really. I feel like a big wus and hate myself even more for it. I am thankful I have a relationship with God beyond just going to church on Sunday mornings, and that when there is a critter in the attic or I'm on a plane about to take-off, I can find solace in prayer and that calms me down. Still, I don't like that there is so much 'fear' in my life. It's something I need to work on, but I don't quite know how to do that. Hopefully before the next time I have to get on a plane.
21 August 2006
20 August 2006
Turns out there is no shut off valve for just the bath, so the whole house had to be turned off while we jammed the pipe back in. Couldn't use the cold water in the tub/shower, though, so getting ready for church this morning was a blast. Fortunately I had had that fateful shower on Saturday, so I was clean, relatively speaking. Natalie got a sink bath, the kitchen counters were cleaned thanks to her splashing, and Jim took a bath, but as we could only fill the tub with hot water, he had to fill it and then wait for it to be cool enough to get in it. This included pouring a couple of pitchers of cold water and all the ice cubes from the freezer in there. Nevertheless, we were late. Oh! But the bathroom floor is clean. That's what happens when you have a fire hydrant in your shower and 2 inches collects on the floor.
Nice weekend, huh? A big ass gin and tonic with lime made it all better.
18 August 2006
It's just a weird day.
17 August 2006
Mike Myers best movie* is "So I Married an Axe Murderer." It has so many great lines, one of the best being:
Harriet: "Charlie, what do you look for in a woman?"
Charlie (Mike Myers): "I know everyone always sense sense of humor, but I'd have to go with breast size."
Priceless, and I can't believe I missed last weeks chat and couldn't submit it. At my wedding, we tried to script it into a toast given by the best man (my husbands brother) about something the groom told him about me, the bride. But we couldn't pull it off. Would have been worth it for the priceless look of shock on my grandparents faces (grandpa wouldn't have gotten the reference but would have LOVED it, while grandma probably would have had a stroke because someone said "breast" out loud in mixed company), as well as the joy of seeing those handful of friends who love the movie, too, falling out of their chairs because they are laughing just that hard.
Also, on the breast sized based poll, you should have had a third category for women, along the lines of "porn star sized bazongas." As a C-cup, I fit with the C- and D-cup women, but next to my mom, a sweet cherubic woman who is somewhere around an F-cup, I am but a carpenter's delight in comparison.
A humble panty slinger,
*I may be biased because it was my and my best friends favorite movie in college to watch when we were stressed, and usually over a couple of drinks when the studying session became a lost cause around 2am.
Gene wrote back:
I like that movie.
Wo-man.... Whoa man!
Do you know there IS a size f? One of my close friends, a young, slim woman, is a size F. She is writing a story about it.
16 August 2006
1) She just really likes the wings
2) Her family has a sick, warped sense of humor and got it for her as a gift
3) There was a luggage mix up at the airport and some Hooter's girl was left to wear mom jeans on her vacation
15 August 2006
Anyway, I'm just so beat down right now. Kind of feel like Job, except without all the destruction of crops and killing of family. Don't know how he managed it, but despite feeling beat down, my faith in God and His provision isn't failing. I'd kind of like it if He'd stop trying to teach us lessons or something, but whatever. He provided a super fun elderly neightbor who works with commercial heating/cooling units who is in the process of fixing ours at cost. He seemed insulted that we wanted to pay him for his labors, because "For neighbor? This is what I do!" So it'll really cost us just parts and a big batch of cookies I think. And that is surely God's doing. I just hope God's will includes having it all fixed by this afternoon like hoped so we can sleep in our bed tonight, since I really have to go to work tomorrow.
13 August 2006
Jim got a job
Car passed inspection
Eye infection came back
Went to hot dermatologist
Moles gone wild checked and removed
Moles really hadn't gone wild, just thinking about it
Still can't fit into any clothes
Had $300 worth of dental work done
Went back and spent $300 more on the other side
Teeth no longer bite the same on each side, must go back a 3rd time
Did I mention Jim got a job?
Still no word on my job...
Still no word on how we'll pay the mortgage next month...
Jim got a new tire
New tire went flat 24 hours later
Baby had her first cold
Baby gave her cold to me and Jim
Um, still trying to focus on the good of Jim's new job...
Everyone else went or is going on vacation
We have none planned
I get to stay home with my baby starting some this week
Have to pay a babysitter for 2 days this week
Must take money out of savings to pay babysitter
But babysitter is super sweet and a possible new friend
We still have a roof over our heads
We are (reasonably) healthy
11 August 2006
10 August 2006
09 August 2006
So much has changed in your short life span that you have no clue about; and finally, things are starting to look up. Daddy starts a new job on Monday, and I'll get to stay at home and take care of you like I've always wanted. At last! I'll still be working, just not as much and mostly when you are sleeping (even if that means getting up at 5am to put in a few hours before you wake). We need the money, so it's not going to be all fun and games. There may even be times where you have to holler for a few minutes in your crib because you want out but I need to make a quick important phone call. But hopefully that will change and someday in the future I'll be my own boss and set my own rules. But for now, this is how it has to be, and it's a lot better than me having to leave your sweet self every morning to trudge to work and spend my day sitting in a cublicle.
Six months old, and you are a turning into a vibrant little girl. Everyone who meets you says the same thing: "She's so alert and bright eyed!" You prefer to observe the wild world around you, and then tell us all about it later when you are back in the comfort of your house or your room. But when you are angry/upset/frustrated, you've taken to curling your feet in and rubbing them against your bare legs like an angry little cricket when you cry. It's too funny and makes we want to pick you up and comfort you even more. You can also roll from you back to your tummy, and I burst with pride every single time you do. I can't imagine how proud I will be when I see you walk down the aisle at your high school graduation. You have always been a cuddler, and I cherish those moments when you are quiet, on the verge of drifting off, curled up in my arms making sweet little baby noises to no one in particular. I could spend all day tickling you just to hear you laugh, as it's the best sound by far in the whole wide world. Whatever comes our way, we've bonded as a family through some tough times and I know we can face whatever else God has in store for us.
08 August 2006
First, that new-ish Sheryl Crow and Sting duet? Yeah, that's going to go the way of so many Whitney Houston, Celine Dion, and Lionel Richie songs of my junior high and high school years: It will become fodder for love sick teenagers to croon together at wanna-be American Idol high school talent shows for ages to come.
Second, as something that they were using on my teeth touched my tongue by accident and tasted like I was being poisoned, I thought: "Gee, our taste receptors are in our tongues. To keep people from biting their nails, they make a clear polish that tastes awful that people can put on them [Jim has used this stuff in an attempt to break his own nail biting habit.]. Why isn't there a similar substance that one can paint on one's tongue that is effective for, say, the length of a baby shower or ice cream social, that prohibits sweets from tasting oh-so good?" Think about it: Those of us with sweet tooths who are supposed to be avoiding sugar at all costs would be saved from temptation!! But the stuff would have to taste like chocolate, otherwise no one would use it.
Third, I sweat a lot when someone is using spinning and vibrating torture devices in my mouth. It was kind of gross. They should use those paper sheets like at the doctors office that roll out over the exam table and tear off when you are done.
07 August 2006
All this excitement is masking the fact that I am dreading talking to my boss(es) today about my whole work situation. It's a known fact that I hate confrontation; I have no kahones when it comes to speaking out for something I believe in. I can't even argue with friends sometimes about why I love a movie they all think is dumb. I just get snookered in and end up keeping my mouth shut. Fingers crossed that I can come across as professional and deserving of a part time work from home (aka "off site" if we're being technical) situation.
I think I might have to go throw up I'm so anxious about it.
I also use too many parenthesis (oh well).
06 August 2006
This morning he was telling some tales from his recent trip to visit a sister church in Sudan. While there, he was informed on how to escape from the grip of a python, as they are known to drop from the trees and squeeze their pray to death. He told us you are to (read with a thick, punctuated Welsh accent): "Rrraise one's ahrms ais if to prahse the Lourd, ahnd ais the pythin curls his tail up with which to breahk your nohse, you bite dohwn upohn it, and suppooosedly, the pythin will slip off. Not thaht I had the chahnce to try, buht there you goh."
I feel so much safer now, knowing how to extract myself from the grip of a constrictor. I'll keep that in mind next time we're at the zoo, in case we learn of an escape from the reptile house.
04 August 2006
Happy times in the aubergine house tonight! Much take out chicken was consumed with wild abandon, faux-champagne was uncorked, then drunk, then drunk some more. Ice cream was eaten out of the container. Babies waved their icey teething rings with joy, happy to giggle along in the celebrating. Which will hopefully continue later this evening once it's a little cooler and we can get busy, if ya know what I mean. Marriage is really hard, but it does have its perks. A huge cloud has been lifted. Life isn't going to be easy, I'll still be doing whatever I can to earn money for our household and we'll still have to be frugal, but our quality of life just went up like a cajillion degrees. Jim will be happy doing what he loves with nice people and close to home, I'll be home where I want to be (who cares what I'll be doing other than taking care of Natalie), and together, we can make this work.
God has provided for us this far, with the means to hang in there, and now Jim has a GREAT new job. I'm hoping this is the start of a provdential upswing, and that more good things will come our way. Not that we, as sinners, yada yada yada, deserve any of it, but as humans who have put up with a lot in the past year, it sure as heck would be nice.
So little chubby me, in my chinos and t-shirt and flip flops with my go-to-work backpack, who does the crossword and sudoku on the metro ride to work, who still has bad new mommy hair and needs to lose 40lbs, has the same exact phone as Carrie Bradshaw in the last episode of Sex and the City when Big calls and we find out his name is John. I should feel cooler, but I just feel like a poser. I suppose I could bring out the 4" hot pink strappy sandals before summer us over since they'd match my phone in color and attitude, but they just don't go with Old Navy khakis.
03 August 2006
02 August 2006
Having grown up in the church, I can't help but giggle every time I walk past the conference room (thank God I don't have to go to this meeting - sometimes being fairly low on the totem pole pays off), since "CrossTalk" to me sounds like some sort of bad youth group event focused on what the bible says about relationships or how Jesus is a model for our lives. Some sort of feel good talk that was basically supposed to keep our hands out of other people's pants. Forget challenging us spiritually or anything, they just didn't want to become the "youth group with all the pregnant girls."
[Gee, wonder why I conviced my parents to let me stop going circa 10th grade. Hmm. Wonder if my not going explains why I was one of the few who got out of dodge when it was time for college, moved to a city, lived life, traveled, and then got married. Guess which road I'd take again in a heartbeat if I had the opportity to do it all again?]
01 August 2006
Wondering if I can use this phrase as an excuse to wear pajamas to the office for the remainder of my time there. I am counting down the minutes till I get to spend my days hanging out with this little muchkin: