08 August 2006

Deep thoughts

While sitting in the dentist's chair for the second time in as many weeks, having horrendous torture performed on my mouth for which they were going to make me pay (No wonder one hears so many jokes about dentists and sadomasochists - it's true! I wonder if there's a National Convention of Dental Sadomasochists every year in Vegas...), I had a few thoughts.

First, that new-ish Sheryl Crow and Sting duet? Yeah, that's going to go the way of so many Whitney Houston, Celine Dion, and Lionel Richie songs of my junior high and high school years: It will become fodder for love sick teenagers to croon together at wanna-be American Idol high school talent shows for ages to come.

Second, as something that they were using on my teeth touched my tongue by accident and tasted like I was being poisoned, I thought: "Gee, our taste receptors are in our tongues. To keep people from biting their nails, they make a clear polish that tastes awful that people can put on them [Jim has used this stuff in an attempt to break his own nail biting habit.]. Why isn't there a similar substance that one can paint on one's tongue that is effective for, say, the length of a baby shower or ice cream social, that prohibits sweets from tasting oh-so good?" Think about it: Those of us with sweet tooths who are supposed to be avoiding sugar at all costs would be saved from temptation!! But the stuff would have to taste like chocolate, otherwise no one would use it.

Third, I sweat a lot when someone is using spinning and vibrating torture devices in my mouth. It was kind of gross. They should use those paper sheets like at the doctors office that roll out over the exam table and tear off when you are done.

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