07 September 2006

About to throw up...

I have anxiety issues. I don't deal with change, big or small, well. I have personal space issues. I am not a morning person. Take all these things into account and guess my reaction when Jim called on his way back from the airport to say that his mom will just sleep on our couch tonight.

(a) I was overjoyed as I can't wait to see my precious darling mother-in-law, and would love to let her sleep on our couch [we have no guest room/spare bed], relax with her in the morning, etc.

or

(b) I had a mini panic attack, because this is happening! In less than an hour! She'll be here all night! She hogs the bathroom! She sleeps in! I can't sit in the comfy chair and nurse in the morning while watching the Today show! I can't watch the Today show period without feeling guilty that I'm being judged for letting my daughter in the same room as the TV! Oh, the judging! I'll be on eggshells feeling like every little thing I do is under a microscope! I'll have to close the door when I'm getting dressed! And I might have to visit with her in the morning instead of using Natalie's morning nap time to drink diet Coke with lime and surf the internet! I'm going to have to take her to the groccery store! And try to ignore the involuntary twitching I get every time she refers to me as "precious" or "darling" in that thick southern drawl. And smile graciously when she offers to cook when I know it won't be anything I should eat as she cooks things with fat and puts wierd spices in salads!

Don't get me wrong, she's a wonderful woman. Personality wise, I am not a good pick to be her daughter-in-law. There's just something about her that makes we want to be...confrontational. Not that I want to pick a fight, but just do things that I'm perfectly OK with but I know probably makes her squirm...like refusing to read into her subliminal messages when she talks as she never comes outright and says something. Or make sure I've got earings in all my ear-holes and purposefully not wear my Tiffany's necklace. That sort of thing.

Gotta get off the computer...They'll be here any minute now. It should be an interesting weekend. I'm trying to stay positive. Honest.

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