I was having one of those "maybe I should renew my passport just in case, even though I have a baby and hate to fly, I still like the thought of knowing that *if* I wanted to pick up and go to Europe on a whim I could" moments and was thinking about the line for "profession." What do I put? "Analyst" is technically my title that I've had for the past 5 years as a government contractor. "Project Coordinator" is more accurate, but the government doesn't get that creative with titles for us peons. Not to mention I loathe that job (although making business calls while outside raking leaves yesterday gave me quite a thrill, stick it to the man and all, talking to colleagues who were stuck in cubicles while I enjoyed one of the last nice days till spring). Do I put down "homemaker" or "stay at home mom" or just "mother"? A little too June Cleaver for me. Besides, I'm not some militant at home mom who is out to prove to the world that this is a full time job too.
My other paying job is a writer. "Huh," I thought, "That's kinda cool to have on one's passport." Then I realized it gets better. I'm not just a writer, I'm a columnist. It's true!! I write 1200 words every month that are published. It's just that instead of writing a sex column for a New York newspaper, I write a business column for a professional publication, one that caters to a subset of white collar workers that reeks of geekdom. I know this because my dad is one of them. It's actually his column, he just doesn't have time to do it, so he feeds me resources and I do the grunt work and spit out 1200 words on such choice topics like ethics or certification, or this month's winner: Change tactics. So really, I'm a "ghost writer." But I'm totally putting "columnist" on that passport application.