10 December 2006

Double Digits

Happy 10 month birthday, Natalie!! Wow, this seems huge for some reason. It's been a whirlwind of activity lately, and you've been at the center. You go non-stop all day and it can drive me up a wall. I just want you to sit still sometimes, but you've got too much to explore and crawl to and climb on. You've taken to nibbling at your cheerios in the most dainty of ways, but you still don't seem to like meat. Turkey, chicken, beef, you spit it all back out. Oh well. Auntie Kim the vegetarian will be proud. You are so expressive and curious, you've mastered the art of waving, clapping, and blowing rassberries and will do so on command. It's very impressive. Your giggles are infectious and I can't help but smile when I hear them, even if you are laughing because you think pulling all the DVDs off the shelf is simply hysterical.

We're gearing up for your first Christmas, but it's not that exciting so far, other than pictures of you going out in our Christmas cards. No tree, as you'd just rip all the ornaments off, and no other decorations as I have no where to put things since I've run out of space in the "too high for Natalie to reach" range. We don't even have a good place to hang stockings, so it's a good thing grandma hasn't finished crochetting yours.

I'm still dealing with depression and uterine issues, which leaves me in a funk more often than I'd like. I don't see the doctor again till the week after Christmas, but I'm wondering if I need to call sooner. I just don't know. The only thing I do know is that I'm still not the mother I wish I could be, and I worry that you (and Jim) are suffering because of that. And I also know that I love you so much, Natalie. You are the light of my life.

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