We're gearing up for your first Christmas, but it's not that exciting so far, other than pictures of you going out in our Christmas cards. No tree, as you'd just rip all the ornaments off, and no other decorations as I have no where to put things since I've run out of space in the "too high for Natalie to reach" range. We don't even have a good place to hang stockings, so it's a good thing grandma hasn't finished crochetting yours.
I'm still dealing with depression and uterine issues, which leaves me in a funk more often than I'd like. I don't see the doctor again till the week after Christmas, but I'm wondering if I need to call sooner. I just don't know. The only thing I do know is that I'm still not the mother I wish I could be, and I worry that you (and Jim) are suffering because of that. And I also know that I love you so much, Natalie. You are the light of my life.