27 June 2007

So not fair

Someone's new wakeup time is 5:30am. And she's not just up, she want's breakfast. As soon as I put her down, she runs as fast as those teeny legs will carry her into the kitchen and starts shaking her high chair. I get the hint. And it's not like she's been eating two dinners or anything lately. 20% for weight, and she eats more than any of her little friends. Proof that the child NEVER SITS STILL. Got to do something about this wake up time...I'm going to lose it real soon otherwise.

26 June 2007


We went back to the pediatritian today. Blood oxygen levels were a little higher which is great, but she's still got a kind of icky cough so we have to keep her on the nebulizer. We celebrated with a trip to the pool, where she decided she likes jumping off the side. It was fantastic. I apologize to those around who had to see my fat arse in a bathing suit, but I'm going to be the one with a swimming baby by the end of the summer.

24 June 2007


We spent 2 hours at the pediatritian on Saturday. Natalie had had a cold this past Monday, but no fever since Tuesday. She had a bit of a runny nose (she's a toddler, what toddler doesn't have a runny nose), which grew into a bit of a runny nose with a cough. No worries, she was in good spirits and those two things tend to go together. I just figured it was taking her a while to get better. Then Friday night was hellish. The coughing got worse, it was waking her up, it was so violent at times she would almost gag herself. At a loss of what else to do for her, we said a thankful prayer that the ped has Saturday hours and called them as soon as they were open. So in we went and lo and behold, Natalie has bronchiolitis. Not bronchitis, and I don't really understand the difference, but the short story is her cold caused her to have a reaction in which she wasn't getting enough oxygen into her lungs and thus into her blood stream. During the two hours there we did 2 treatments with a nebulizer (which we then got to take home for the next few days), they checked and rechecked her blood oxygen levels, and we all got a little nervous. They basicially treat this like they would treat an asthma attack. She must know the nebulizer helps because when we do it at home, she now wants to hold the thingee up to her nose and will push me away so she can do it herself. Can't argue with that. Today we went back to see the doctor (who came in on a Sunday!!) and all her levels checked out much better than yesterday.

Down the road, we just have to be aware of this possible reaction anytime she gets a cold, and there is a slightly increased risk of developing asthma. So, for now, we're thankful for a great group of pediatritians and a little girl who is doing much better.

22 June 2007


It was in the 70's today, no humidity, nice breeze. We had playgroup at our house so there were babies in bathing suits or birthday suits trolling the yard for treasures, splashing in the paddling pool, eating ice cream, and drawing all over the patio with chalk. Mamma's got to chat and visit and talk to other grownups during the day for a change. Everyone got a little sunkissed, but no burns thanks to loads of sunscreen. Then Natalie and I took a very peaceful afternoon nap together. Now she's off at the groccery with daddy. Does it get better than this? I don't think so.

21 June 2007


He passed. Thank God, and I mean that very seriously. I feel like I've been single parenting for the past 4-5 months as he took the prep course and studied for this exam (a professional exam that gets letters next to his name, peer recognition, and hopefully some more moola). I put Natalie to bed every single night. I take care of her five days a week, and then have to do it all on the weekends, too. I'm glad he passed, but sadly, I'm more glad for me. There's going to be some changes around here. He's going to have to do more with Natalie, sometimes cook dinner, do the occasional load of laundry. I was ready to snap I was so strung out from doing EVERYTHING around this house lately. So it feels like a weight has lifted now that this exam is over and he passed and that's it. I think he knows some changes have to occur; I'll give him till the weekend to start taking some initiative. In the meantime, my life goes on. Baby with a cold, lots of writing to catch up on, house is a disaster zone.

In the words of my neighbor who has helped keep me sane through all this, "At least now we know for sure that he was really studying and not having an affair all this time." True, true.

14 June 2007

Oh Fuck.

I have a hotmail account. Have had it for ages, since college, when I moved off campus, didn't have internet in our apartment (imagine! it was like the dark ages back then!), and the school's email system at the library was like a cousin of lexus nexus it was so primitive. So everyone got hotmail or yahoo accounts and had their .edu email forwarded there. Which means I have emails from some very important people in that account (namely, ex-boyfriends who sadly still hold a really special place in my heart, especially in times like these when one's husband is being an arse), not to mention a lot of random email addresses of people I don't talk to all the much, etc. Old emails are kind of like a diary of sorts. There's exchanges between me and friends during all sorts of trying times in those turbulent and oh-so-dramatic early to mid-twenties. Break ups with boyfriends or girlfriends, moving to new cities, wedding planning, death of a parent, catching up with old friends.

Hotmail started sucking a few years back, so I switched to gmail. Most people know this, but I still get the random email on my hotmail account that isn't about enlarging my penis or how to get oxytocin from overseas cheap. So I don't check it often, maybe every other week, maybe less. I went in there tonight to check and almost shit my pants when I discovered hotmail/windows had changed their setup. ALL MY EMAILS, FOLDERS, CONTACTS - ALL GONE. Seriously, I'm having palpatations here.

What pisses me off is the little notice next to the login that says "Already have a Hotmail account? When you switch to Windows Live Hotmail, all your emails and contacts will be transfered for you! Just log in over on the right." Transfer my ASS. I've already sent my nasty email to Bill Gates.

In the meantime, I think I'm going to go cry. Not that I wasn't going to before, but before I was in the mood for the type of cry that comes with reading the emails of an old friend who I am missing dearly right now. Good thing my period is done tomorrow. Damn hormones.


I feel like such a wimpy victim these days. I ask 'why' way too often. Why can't I lose weight? Why am I so lonely? Why won't my endo up my meds? Why is my husband a jerk to me more than I'd like to admit? Why can't someone die and leave us lots of money? Why do I keep thinking of John? For that matter, why do I keep thinking of Spiff? And Will? Why do I still have clothes in boxes that will NEVER fit again? Why do I not give a shit about the way I look despite not ever wanting to be frumpy mom? Why do I feel like I'm turning into frumpy mom? Why am I so damn tired all the time? Why are some of my coworkers complete arses? Why can't I get my act together?

You get the idea. Now go back to reading some other, more cheerful blog. Bah.

10 June 2007

16 Months

Yesterday, Natalie, you turned 16 months old. And as always, you continue to astound me every day. You are getting smarter and smarter, and funnier and funnier. Your sense of humor is fantastic, and your little personality is really starting to shine. I love your shrieks of delight when you see something or someone you like. You've FINALLY started calling me mamma and mommy, which delights me to no end. We've been busy this last week and it's really tired you out, so I think I may have to keep up this level of activity, but I'm not sure I can handle it without napping as much as you. It's been hot so we've been in the pool lately. And by "pool" I mean the paddling pool out in the back yard. You love it and will play in there for ages, all slathered in sun screen with your bathing suit half falling off because it's too big, and your mismatched floppy hawaiian sun hat shading your bald little head. You are saying more and more words; it seems like something new makes it into your vocabulary every day. "Buhbuhs" are your favorites, "Lay" lives across the street, and you can point out the color "lellow." Your eyes light up when you see a pretzel, and I can no longer drink out of my water bottle in front of you because you insist on drinking out of it too, which means you also end up wearing most of my water. You love other kids, and are so energized by being around them. It's wonderful watching you play with our playgroup, to see you 6 munchkins grow up so much and how we used to sit on the floor with floppy babies who would tip over if we weren't there to help hold them up. Now we've got little people who walk and talk and feed themselves and interact with each other. It's just wonderful.

I love you so much my precious little girl. My the next month bring more joy and excitement in all our lives, and may you continue to grow and blossom.

08 June 2007

Before and After

Can you guess which is which?

07 June 2007

New floor

Hopefully by tonight, I will have a new kitchen floor! The narsty circa 1970's one is all gone, in heaps of rubble in my driveway, waiting to be picked up by the flooring guy's partner when he gets back with the pickup truck. Sure, we're only puttling down some peel and stick tile to replace it, but it will be easier to clean, easier to find cheerios on this new floor, and it will be much much prettier. Not to mention we won't have to trip over the giant divot in front of the dishwasher where we had to dig out the 30 year old dishwasher that came with the house. The one that exploded water all over the kitchen when we tried to run it on a lark just to see if it still worked. Cannot believe the sellers got away with putting that on the listing. That and the refrigerator (smelled like rotton fish and didn't work), the water heater (contained 5 minutes of hot water and then your first shower after a long day of working on the crap hole you just bought turns ice cold) and the dryer (gas, wasn't hooked up, looking like it could light the house on fire) all conveyed. Heh. But I digress.

So excited for my new floor. Someday, once we've replaced cabinets, countertips, and other fun things, we'll peel up the cheap-o tiles and lay down a proper tile (or bamboo! or cork! I'm pushing for something funky) floor. This is exciting because it's the first step towards a kitchen that makes one actually want to spend time cooking in it.