So I'm a few days late. I started this blog at the end of last June. I meant for it to be a place to write about the silly, the random, the things that make you grin, or smirk, or laugh out loud. I wanted it to be a happy place, all rainbows and puppydogs, but it didn't work out that way. Ambitious goals of mine, seeing as how a year ago I was working, with no end in sight, while my laid off husband stayed home to job search and take care of our baby, the child I wanted to be caring for full time, not sitting in a cube wasting my time because my bosses can't get their acts together to actually have any work for me to do. After 5 years there, it no longer felt proactive to continually try and find something to do. You can only clean out the supply closet so many times (I decided I was done doing that when I realized I was about to borrow a label maker and alphabetize our stationary goods). It's much easier to just hide in your cube and surf the web. I felt desparate, like I needed to do something to get me out of that funk. Well, a few months later it was Zoloft that got me out of that funk, not some witty writing I jotted down for all to see online.
And here I am. 130 or so posts later, some good, some bad, all reflective of me, I think. I'm sort of happy, Natalie is a joy, but she also exhausts me. Jim's job is going great (one year in mid-August!), but he's more of a clueless roommate these days instead of a husband. I still feel crappy and tired most of the time, but I must admit the sheer exhaustion isn't as frequent. I'd like to think I'm a little better at not eating my emotions, but then again I just had a fantastic chocolate peanut butter milkshake today from a dairy stand in the middle of nowhere that was worth every single fucking calorie. Hopefully in another year, I'll be thinner, happier, and my marriage will feel more like a partnership and less like an annoyance. Someone dying and leaving us lots of money wouldn't be bad, either, so long is it wasn't anyone I liked.