14 February 2008
I sit here working on a loverly Valentine's Day evening. I got breakfast in bed and yum take-out for dinner. Yet as I type up my notes and listen to my ipod on shuffle, I hear songs that don't make me think of Jim, but of John. Of the concerts he would have gone to with me, of the Wes Anderson movies he would have loved and laughed at as much as I do. Of the books we would have traded and read together. God, I miss him. My heart breaks that we aren't in each other's lives anymore. While I think I'll always wonder "what if...", I do wish him and his wife and his toddler daughter well (facts I know of because a Higher Power keeps making our parents bump into each other at the hardware store and such). Jan 15th was his 8th wedding anniversary and 8 years since I last saw him. Time doesn't always ease pain.