I feel like a good mom right now. Because I paid someone to watch my daughter.
Never thought I'd be one of "those people," but having time to myself, where I spend the majority of it at the computer working, makes me feel human. I feel like a better mom today than I have all week, because as I sit here writing, trying to wrap up an article on something I know nothing about, I hear Natalie and her babysitter having fun discussions over the lunch table, this after spending all morning at the park together. I don't think my work makes me feel more whole/human/important, but I think it's about getting something accomplished that is different from the daily tasks I accomplish. Most of those tasks involve forcing a two year old to put on a shirt, not throw things in the car, eat her lunch, or pretty much do anything because if I want her to do it, she automatically doesn't want to do it. So writing 1000 words on something that is going to be read and used by people way smarter than me? While my daughter gets engaging one-on-one time from someone who is not totally worn out by her? That's kind of nice. And I'm OK with that.
I've got my babysitter again on friday morning, and if between today, friday, and the weekend I get done what I aim to finish, then when she comes monday mid-day, I'm taking myself out for lunch and coffee with a good book. That is something I have never thought twice about paying someone to let me do on occasion. As an introvert, the coffee shop is where I recharge. Alone. Man, think of all the recharging I'll be doing in CA in a few short weeks...sure, I'm going to a wedding, but other than that I plan on spending time ALONE. IN CA. WITH BOOKS. AND SUNSHINE. AND THE BEACH. Crap. Now I'm all orgasmic with excitement again.
20 min till my fabulous babysitter leaves...must make it worth it...