28 May 2008

Why I Don't Tell People Things

By "people" I mean people I'm close to who should care and you would think hold similar values and levels of understanding as I do.

Case #1 - Mom
Spending the weekend with mom and dad was great, Natalie loves her grandma and papa and Sophie the bischon is her bestest furry friend. Mom knew I needed a breather, wouldn't let me help with dinner or dishes or cleaning up after Natalie, just told me to enjoy myself, look after myself and Natalie and that was all I was allowed to do. Which meant there was some time spent after Natalie was down for a nap or bed that found mom scurrying about the kitchen with me sitting at the table and we talked. Went through the whole spiel about meds and depression and therapy and weight loss with her. Ok, fine, we've discussed it enough but never really sat down and told the whold story through end to end. Then we got to talking about my upcoming weekend in CA (48 hours to go, people!). Some of the friends I'll see are people she heard about during those 4 years at college, so while filling her in on who is doing what and getting married and living where, she of course asked if the bride and groom are living together. Yes, they are. No business of mine to judge (I honestly could care less about my friend's housing choices unless they involve domestic abuse or a pschyopathic landlord), and especially none of mom's. Yet her tone changed after that question, like she was disappointed that I would choose to be friends with people who would choose to live together befor marriage, after all the righteous and Christian morals mom and dad instilled upon me from day 1. Sorry mom, I should have screened all my college friends freshman year with a questionnaire that started out "So, do you plan to live together with a significant other before marriage?" Made me a little sad.

Case #2 - Jim
This just feels awful because I'm MARRIED to the guy. Stuck, for life, with someone who doesn't get me. At least in this situation. To his benefit, he gets my quirky sense of humor, my taste in movies, etc. But I've been sewing a lot lately. Only one or two things have been for Natalie, mostly to test out home-made patterns, the rest are going into my stock pile for my soon-to-be opened etsy.com shop. Yesterday Jim told me I should stop sewing so much. I said it wasn't all for Natalie. He said "Who else dresses their kid like that?" Apparently sweet a-line dresses, and empire waist jumpers with full skirts and little tunics and peasant blouses are something only I like. And he doesn't get how sewing is so good for me, it's pretty much the only activity these days that makes me happy, keeps me busy and out of the fridge, and gives me a serious sense of satisfaction when an idea presents itself in your head and you manage to figure it out successfully in fabric. Whatever. He can be a real ass sometimes. I haven't told him about the etsy idea because I've been afraid of his criticism and haven't wanted to give him the chance to shoot it down. When he sees me bundling packages off to mail to buyers, then I'll mention it. And I'm keeping all the money I make to spend on more fabric and frivilous yummies for myself. So there.

3 comments:

Kathy said...

Oh my gosh, it's not just ME! My husband is more critical of me than anyone I KNOW! I love him, he's great, but sometimes I wonder how we ended up together. I swear we can be so completely different...and I'm not sure that's such a good thing.

Katie said...

i know! they say opposites attract, but sometimes i just have no idea how we ended up together!

Julie and Lee Machen said...

creative people are NEVER understood by non-creative types. gray area FREAKS them out so they try to snuff out the light when it starts hitting their blacks! it's hard not to take it personally because as any creative person knows it's who you are, something that drives you...at times consumes you. you rock and when your etsy shop is bringing in more cash than his full-time job [has happened to 2 friends of mine] he'll change his tune. that's when you'll say.....um, no you can't have money to buy that techno gadget baby, sorry.