15 July 2008

Losing it

I had written a long post and decided not to post it. To sum up: Natalie is driving me up a wall, something to do with being 2, being smart, devious, cute, and stubborn all at once. Add in me, with depression that's been kicking my ass the past month, and you have a recipe for one stressed out mamma who is ready to throw in the towel. I feel like I'm just barely managing to keep things together, between toddler wrangling, work, and trying to keep the cleanliness level of the house just above the point where vermin would start to move in. One of the biggest annoyances of the smallest family member is her insistance that I not do anything that doesn't involve her. She can be playing by herself, but she's got a 6th sense for when mamma opens a book ever so quietly and FWOMP! There's a monkey hanging on me like I'm her own personal jungle gym.

So I went to the craft store tonight in a fit of desperation and combed through my odds and ends to creat Mamma's Sanity Box. It contains all matter of things from pipe cleaners to scraps of wrapping paper, pom-poms, glue sticks, stickers, safety sisscors, to bits of ribbon, feathers, and odd buttons. Throw in some construction paper and a few old magazines and it's an afternoon of fun. It's stuff that I can have her doing and walk away from knowing that I'm not going to come back and find my curtains have been colored in (already happened, and when crayola says "washable" they aren't kidding - curtains are back to white with nary a hint of wrong doing). Hopefully, she can be busy and I can just sit and read a book for a little break. That's all I want. Or to check my work email - not really "do" work, just check email and reply back quickly if needed. Or maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to go to the bathroom. ALONE. Although it is kind of nice being told "Wow, mamma! Good job doin' poopies in da potty! Natalie flush fors you."

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