I don't feel like I'm losing any weight yet, but I don't mind. Going each week gives me confidence to keep on and I was actually looking forward to this past saturday's meeting. I find the biggest change so far is that I'm more conscious of my food choices - I find myself really asking myself "am I hungry or just bored? or upset? or frustrated?" before reaching into the fridge. And it's not that I didn't do that before; it's just that now, I don't beat myself up for whatever choice I make. If it's a good choice, that's all it is - "yes, I am hungry, I'm going to have this yougert." But when I find myself eating for reasons other than hunger - these are times where I need to work on identifying the need before I eat instead of after - I don't lay on the guilt about a lack of self-control. I know somehow that this is a learning process, that others have struggled before me, and I'm able to move on, not dwell, and do better the next time I'm tempted.
That's my goal for now, besides learning the 12 steps which I kind of like, I'm going to focus on eating for hunger, stopping when I'm full even if my plate is not empty, and not eating when I'm feeling other emotions. From there I figure I'm slowly meld into making better food choices, and the weather is going to start cooling down substantially where soups and chillis and other vegetable laden yumminess is going to be on our dinner menu weekly. I know what I should be eating, it's just all the other trash in my head interfering with my ability to make those choices, not to mention telling me I need food to feel better.
So of I am on this journey, all 205lbs of me (see picture from labor day weekend). My doctor wants me at 185 by christmas, and for the first time in a while, I feel confident I can meet that goal. March is a family reunion of sorts on Jim's side and there will be swimming in a hotel pool - I'd like to be fitting into my cute bathing suit again. Maybe be 170? From there, my doctor wants me to get down to 150, but I say 145 so I can call it an even 60lbs lost.