30 October 2008

Happy Halloween Eve!

Brownie points if you can guess what she is:

29 October 2008


I have a pile of blog posts that I've started in the last few weeks, none that I've finished, many that I've half-heartedly abandoned.

Life in unemployement land continues to suck ass. At least the hyper-home repairs have stopped thanks to cold weather and my sister-in-law's birthday. Since we had some exterior work that had to be done before winter and her 40th birthday party was going to be on our back patio, Jim was insane, going to home depot or the local hardware store multiple times a day. At least the house looks awesome and the yard is shaping up in a way that we'll be able to plant more grass seed during those first weeks of spring when the ground begins to thaw. The party went great, she was thrilled to pieces, and the best part was the fire pit we borrowed from friends. Nothing makes a party more awesome than a bonfire in the burbs with smores.

Health wise, I've been on glucophage for almost 2 weeks now and already we're seeing improvements. Was at the GYN today for a follow up to my yearly exam from the 13th; since starting the glucophage, my uterus that was not even close to producing a period is ripening just fine now, hopefully something will happen since it's 52 days since my last one and we know there's nothing growing in there (fetal or otherwise). I'm feeling better in general, I've been able to watch my diet more since I know this med is going to work. My ovaries were nice and polycystic, too. Most exciting, we saw a fibroid on my sonogram which is all kinds of fun, since my mom had a hysterectomy at age 41 because her fibroids made her uterus the size of one at 5 months gestation. Nice. Mine is singular, not teeny, but not big. So we'll see what happens. I figure at least we can see it now and keep an eye on things in there to make sure what happened to mom doesn't happen to me. Or at least catch it before it gets out of control, especially with laproscopic procedures and such that they can do to rid a uterus of these pesky little intruders.

Most fun, my very very good friend and neighbor had her baby last thursday. Little Mollie is scrumptious in that way all wrinkly little newborns are. I have yet to snuggle her, but I may head over there tonight for a cuddle. She's got long eye lashes and big feet and nurses like a champ. Which means the amount of poop this child is putting out is shocking my friend to no end. Always amazing how such adorable little teeny bodies can produce such massive quantitites of excrement. We've all rallied and coordinated meals for their family for the week, which is nice to help out. I know these ladies would do it for me (and hopefully, sometime next year, it will be my turn).

16 October 2008

All hope is lost

It appears that nap time is a thing of the past in our household. Rest in peace, oh sweet hour and a half of free mommy time, you will be missed.

15 October 2008

Joys of working from home #41

Having a glass of wine while working on print requests and work orders and wading through gallons of emails? Much more fun than having your 7th cup of coffee in a cubicle.

End of week 3

Tomorrow marks three weeks since the layoff, so far, no jobs. No interviews, no nothing. However, the exposed basement part of our house has been painted, the rust has been chemically removed from the shed door and frame, new lights including motion sensor ones have been installed in the rear of the house/tenant's entrance, the interior wall of the basement where the eletricians were working has been sheetrocked (over the painted 70's era paneling), trimmed, and primed, and new windows will be installed in the basement (this is a walk out basement with big windows on two sides) this weekend. When we are scrambling for groccery money in a few months I'm going to point out to Jim how good the house looks, but remind him that we can't eat the leftover paint and dryway cement. He's been to home depot or the local harware store every day for at least the past week and a half. Starting to give me an ulcer.

10 October 2008

2 years, 8 months

Natalie, sweet Natalie. Yesterday you turned 2 years and 8 months old. Crazy, I know. I can't believe how fast you are growing. You are one heck of a stubborn little toddler, as you have been for a while now, but I continue to be amazed at how strong a will someone who only weighs 27lbs can have. School has been the highlight of your life the past month - You would live there if you could and the only downside for you is that you don't get to take the bus there. When we wait outside before school, everyone is kind of hanging out, holding mommie's hand, but you? No, you are running around, trying to climb the fence to get in the playground where the older kids are finishing up their class, screeching with excitement. Then as soon as the co-oper's are let in, you are standing on your tiptoes, trying to see in the window, wondering when Miss Debbie will come back out to tell you it's time for everyone else to come in. And when she does, you beeline for your classroom. It's a good thing you only weigh 27lbs and are one of the smallest in your class, because you'd leave a wake of disctruction and fallen toddlers in your path. No kisses goodbye, not even a backward glance. You are hanging up your back pack and you are ready to Play. It's awesome. I love your excitement and sheer delight at any mention of the word school. We get to go back tomorrow for the fall picnic and I know we'd better dress you in the grungy of grungiest play clothes because after 2 hours of playing, picnicing, playing, and then more playing, we're going to have to chip the dirt off you before even getting in the car.

As usual, my life has been a roller coaster. I felt like we were getting to a good place and BAM! Daddy got laid off. So did 37 of his co-workers. Which leaves all three of us home all day every day together. It's messed up my schedule, but you seem to have adapted quite well. My depression has given me some dark times the past two weeks, but I see my doctor next week and hope to get some additional help - at least we have health insurance through the end of the calendar year. But, it also means trying to make you a sibling has been put on hold indefinately. Not that we even know if we can make another kid, but we were just ready to start trying. I guess God really didn't want child #2 concieved right now. We've been praying that His timing and His will is bigger and better than what we want or think we need. In the meantime, while that next great job is still in the works, we pray for provision and we thank God for the friends and family that have been so supportive. Still, the whole thing sucks.

The weather has been beyond fantastic, and with daddy home, it's been fun going to the park in the middle of the day as a family, or dragging him to music class with us. As soon as he finishes some outdoor projects on the house (that we had to get done before the weather changed too much), we're going to hit the zoo, the pumpkin patch, the natural history museum. You and daddy had a blast going to the Jim Henson exhibit at the Smithsonian. Although I'm not sure what you liked more - seeing muppets or riding the metro. Anyway, we're all hanging in there, thankful for the blessing you are to our lives.

09 October 2008

Continued Blech

Day 32, no period. As my mom says, "Women in our family tend to get pregnant when their husbands are out of work!" To which I think I shocked her when I told her, "Yes, but you have to have SEX to get pregnant." There's been none of that in this house for weeks. My breasts feel like I'm still nursing, they are so tender, and I'm having afternoon nauseau. No migranes or cramps, but still, I'm 97% sure this is PMS related and I know the stress of an unemployed husband isn't helping. Today I woke up with a killer back ache and I've been having insanely crazy dreams. Like going to Africa for work, but flying first class and taking Natalie, and being excited to go to the swimming store there that Michael Phelps shops at, but bummed that I can't go across the street to another country where there's a good restaurant, because that street is actually part of Australia and I didn't bring my passport. If that's not crazy, how about the fact that the geology department from my alma mater was also on the same flight as me. I never took a geo class in my 4 years there. I just hope I get my period soon so this insanity can all go away.

07 October 2008


Stress + PMS = throwing up in the shower

02 October 2008


For the first time since who knows when, I voluntarily put on a sweater today. Mmmm. Haven't pulled out the wool socks yet, but it's getting close. Maybe even the flannel jammies will make an appearance with a cup of hot tea while watching the VP debates tonight from under a big afghan. The sun is bright and the wind is blowing, it's crisp and clear out and my allergies are telling me how high the pollen count is but I don't care. It's a good feeling, first in a week, so I'm going to try and hang onto it.

01 October 2008

Hanging in there

We're on day 6 of Job Search '08. So far, no leads. Hahahahaha, like I really expected some. But he has filed for unemployment, made sure all the right signed papers were back at what is now his old job so he can get his severance check and we can have health insurance till the end of the year. He's updated his resume and started looking online for jobs and applying for whatever he can find in his field (HR). Enough friends know and are looking out for him, one even knows of a job opening in her company that hasn't been announced yet so she's getting details for him today.

I'm just trying to hold it together. Monday was hard, I think because I had a previously scheduled appointment with my therapist. Today I'm feeling a little better. Not great, but OK. Helps that my sinus infection is all but gone. Sweet people from OA have called to check on me which is so kind. Even that 2 minute phone call that says "How's your day going? You hanging in there?" means a lot. I've shared a lot with these women in the handful of saturdays I've known them, because they understand where the root of my struggle comes from. I got pissed at a nicorete gum commercial yesterday - "Nicorete gum can help control the cravings" and I'm thinking "Why the fuck can't they make a gum that can help control my cravings for ice cream and french fries?" It's so irrational it's frustrating. Actually, it's not irrational. I take that back. It's more a backward way of thinking - food can make you feel better. That's somewhat rational. Food does fill a hole, it's just that it's a never ending hole in your stomach and not the hole in your soul that you think you are fixing with food. Deep thoughts for a wednesday afternoon.

Jim and a neighbor (a contractor who blames the economy on why people keep backing out on him - "No, I think we'll wait till the new year to redo the kitchen/bathroom/basement love den" - and is desperate for work) are working on the house today with one of this neighbor's guys. they are scraping the exterior wood trim on our brick house in order to prime and paint it before winter. While a lot of our home repairs got put on hold, the trim had to get done since it was barely this side of rotting. Nice to help a neighbor out, he's cutting us a decent deal because Jim is handy and helping. They are also sledgehammering and ripping out the old brick BBQ in our yard. My mom doesn't understand why we aren't saving it, but the BBQ is rusted shut and the bricks are crumbling. It's down to a pile of rubble - they took one load in this guys truck to the dump already - and I'm amazed at how much bigger the yard looks without this 4ftx4ftx4ft cube in the middle. I just wish they had let me have a go with the sledgehammer.