We're on day 6 of Job Search '08. So far, no leads. Hahahahaha, like I really expected some. But he has filed for unemployment, made sure all the right signed papers were back at what is now his old job so he can get his severance check and we can have health insurance till the end of the year. He's updated his resume and started looking online for jobs and applying for whatever he can find in his field (HR). Enough friends know and are looking out for him, one even knows of a job opening in her company that hasn't been announced yet so she's getting details for him today.
I'm just trying to hold it together. Monday was hard, I think because I had a previously scheduled appointment with my therapist. Today I'm feeling a little better. Not great, but OK. Helps that my sinus infection is all but gone. Sweet people from OA have called to check on me which is so kind. Even that 2 minute phone call that says "How's your day going? You hanging in there?" means a lot. I've shared a lot with these women in the handful of saturdays I've known them, because they understand where the root of my struggle comes from. I got pissed at a nicorete gum commercial yesterday - "Nicorete gum can help control the cravings" and I'm thinking "Why the fuck can't they make a gum that can help control my cravings for ice cream and french fries?" It's so irrational it's frustrating. Actually, it's not irrational. I take that back. It's more a backward way of thinking - food can make you feel better. That's somewhat rational. Food does fill a hole, it's just that it's a never ending hole in your stomach and not the hole in your soul that you think you are fixing with food. Deep thoughts for a wednesday afternoon.
Jim and a neighbor (a contractor who blames the economy on why people keep backing out on him - "No, I think we'll wait till the new year to redo the kitchen/bathroom/basement love den" - and is desperate for work) are working on the house today with one of this neighbor's guys. they are scraping the exterior wood trim on our brick house in order to prime and paint it before winter. While a lot of our home repairs got put on hold, the trim had to get done since it was barely this side of rotting. Nice to help a neighbor out, he's cutting us a decent deal because Jim is handy and helping. They are also sledgehammering and ripping out the old brick BBQ in our yard. My mom doesn't understand why we aren't saving it, but the BBQ is rusted shut and the bricks are crumbling. It's down to a pile of rubble - they took one load in this guys truck to the dump already - and I'm amazed at how much bigger the yard looks without this 4ftx4ftx4ft cube in the middle. I just wish they had let me have a go with the sledgehammer.