30 November 2008


I'm angry and bitter and congested all at the same time, which isn't the best of combinations. It's my turn to be sick, and damn it, I want to take a sick day. Instead I'm still the one up early with Natalie, making her breakfast, changing her poopy diaper (use the damn toilet already!), etcetera ad infinitum. What did Jim do? Sleep in, lounge on couch. He doesn't "parent." He doesn't say "OK, news is over, TV is going off - lets get play clothes on and do some puzzles!" He just sits. Natalie runs willy nilly. I can hear from the other room when amok is occuring, yet it's in front of his face and he doesn't catch it. And while I lay in bed, trying to breath through my mouth and just rest while waiting for the tylenol to kick in, a small someone keeps coming in to talk to me, or climb up on the bed to play with me, and on and on. Has Jim become so involved in a chore that he's ignoring her? No! He actually put a movie on. No, he didn't change the channel to a movie, he actually got up, got out a DVD, and PUT A MOVIE ON. Natalie ended up running around half the morning in her all together. Did he bother to look at the clock? Notice that she needed food? Anything? No. He kept saying that he was going to take her out so I could have the house to myself*, but that didn't happen till an hour before her nap time. She's still getting over being sick, she needs her nap time. But even if they walk in the door this second, we'll have screwed up bedtime. It's like I have to physically leave the house without child in order to be truly alone, and when you feel like shit, that isn't something I want to do. I don't know what they'd think at the coffee shop about a sniffling sneezing harried looking frump curled up in one of their big comfy chairs, nursing a large hot tea for 4 hours.

* Last sunday, Jim was on his dealthbed, or so it seemed since he, like most boys, turns into a big baby when sick. Natalie and I left the house at 9 for church, and went out to lunch afterwards since he wanted to sleep a little longer before we came home. We were out of the house for FOUR AND A HALF HOURS!!! I just wanted him to return the favor. He looks at me like this request is akin to cutting off his left testicle.

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